do what you need to be happy

death is just natures way of telling you to slow down.
the hardest part of all of this is realizing i'm okay without you, i hope you are the same way.
and its not so much regretting anything as knowing now it didn't have to be done.
my faith is on the path to renewal right now, maybe i'll run into you on a lonely city street some night.
i've been listening to a lot of spill canvas and bright eyes recently, its putting my head back in the right place.
finished perks of being a wallflower again.
two years ago it completely rearranged everything i am, and it did it again.
not so much anything that happens in the book but the way it is said and how maybe i've looked right through some people who are like that, and how much i might be missing out.
i bet somewhere in this world there is someone who happy and in love right now and sometimes that is enough for me.
does that mean i'm okay too? when you are happy other peoples happiness is nice to see as well, but when you're not, it hurts or makes you angry.
maybe this is me trying to be a better person.
my hands aren't even cold right now, and you are humming in the back room with the shades drawn.
dear god the things you do to me.

tongue stitched up to the roof of my mouth.
kept some wishes in my back molars but your mouth tricked them out of hiding.
threw up fairytales in the bathroom sink but now you're living one.
in the cemetary there is an angel whose face is black and bruised and has ink under its fingernails.
cold to the touch.
voodoo doll on lonely strings. your skin is so pale and i can trace the bluepurpleblue veins trickling up and down under it. over muscle, over bone. i never had a mind to make out constellations but for some reason i remember each freckle on your wrist or cheek.
dont throw stones at glass hearts.
i would cast a spell over the whole city if it meant stopping the noise for a moment.

currently: in love with words and voices, still taking some time off. listening for your voice every five seconds.
you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.