today i walked through the fog crushing dandelions grown up through the concrete and dreamt of driving through the city. i'd hook up an apparatus filled with gasoline and mark my path through the streets like some explosive form of breadcrumbs. ignite. and watch the world burn.
its not as sick as they think it is.
you are the worse habit ever. 'you can't miss what you never had'. exploding too slowly for anyone to notice. you never start the rescue effort during the calm before the storm. you wait for the waves to crash and roofs to fall in and water levels to rise. you wait for the death count. and try to salvage what you can. measure your losses. i'll fuck up the city of my bones and muscle so bad they'll leave me as ruins. a sign of what not to become. atlantis, crushed on the sea floor. legendary.
i'll sing for you until these nicotine lungs collapse. smoke and ash under my tongue, surrounding my teeth & gums. addiction underneath my fingernails. count your wishes on my ribcage. one day my liver will put in my two weeks notice, how many years after my heart.
you are still my worst habit. i'm not as sick as they say i am, i swear. fuckedfuckedfucked.
carved into my tombstone: "don't try." you are the epidemic beneath my skin. you always remember your first. thinking you love someone is just as bad as loving/hating them. you've got these tired eyes all the time. but i'll think of you every day until i die. until i rot.
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