and maybe you're just around the next corner

or maybe i'm just not looking hard enough.
right now my heart is on a redeye transcontinental flight from new york to l.a.
or chicago to miami.
from here to there and back again.
point A, point B. no point me.
he is probably in love with someone who throws up a hundred dollars after every dinner
who has measurements stained across her waist.
save it for your casket.
i've spent so many years clawing at the wood and nails.
everythings splintered, everyone scattered.
its not the same one moment to the next.
tucked your tears into vodka bottles beneath your bedroom floor.
one foot in your bedroom, one foot out the door.
purring and lurching like an engine in your chest.
treating hearts like cars. always trading up.
the stars at night aren't as big and bright as you make them out to be-
and every wish we make is on stars beamed out ages ago.
or they bleed into the moments just after 11:11.
give in give out or give up.
or just sleep for a while.
let the sandman steal you again.
go to neverland and play pretend.

stop believing and you start falling.
they say experience is the best teacher...